I wish I could punch you in the face.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
