only you would photoshop your dick
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
