im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
