you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I came so hard my ears popped.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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