I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
