remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just puked most of my soul out..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
