I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
