hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
