Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
