I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't deserve a penis
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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