I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
