i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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