woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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