Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
