Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
