ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
