It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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