he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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