He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
operation have a gay friend backfired
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
