Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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