My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize