wakey wakey hands off snakey
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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