He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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