I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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