Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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