Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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