well I can't set my house on fire every night
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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