She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize