accomplished twins. life is a go
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
