Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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