I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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