umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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