I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
