I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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