whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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