that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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