I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
