Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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