I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
