You really coming over, don't trick.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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