i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
