How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
