Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
