If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
