I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
