i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
