so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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