I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
