He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
