Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
