i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
