You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
