i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize