ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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