had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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