Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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