anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
