at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
