I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
