Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize