I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am one with the molecules
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize