went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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